What would happen?

Q: I really dislike the plank laminate my spouse put down while I was away! It isn’t as shiny as I’d like, and the grooves are horrible dust collectors. I not only have them along the lengths of the planks, but at irregular 18″ lengths, too. I wonder what would happen if I put a water-based urethane all over it to seal the groves, and make it shiny?

I know “everyone” says it wouldn’t work, but what would happen?

A: It would peel off.